Friday, October 03, 2008

AMERICAN CAROL OPENS TODAY

Don't forget to see An American Carol, David Zucker (Airplane, Naked Gun, Scary Movie, etc)'s new pro-American comedy movie. Let's show Hollywood that as much as they hate America, we love it!

23 comments:

thumb's down said...

Don't forget to see the deceptively named An American Carol, Zionist whore, David Zucker's new pro-Israel farce movie motion picture show film. Let's show Hollywood that as much as they love the best in America, we love to use and abuse it on behalf of a foreign country much, much more!

i report said...

Ethics?? Lobbyist Hired by Freddie Mac to Work on McCain Is Now Senator's Aide 10/4

Rekha Basu from the Des Moines Register: Is McCain too thin-skinned for presidency? 10/4

Palin Gets McCain Stance on Homeowner Protections Wrong; How "shocking" 10/4


She got the name wrong as well: 'Sarah Palin mischaracterized statements by the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, Gen. David McKiernan, in which he said that an Iraq-like "surge" would not be appropriate for Afghanistan.' 10/4

Anonymous said...

"I think McCain is a hypocrite," said Bob Barr, the former GOP congressman and Libertarian presidential candidate. "He claims he is for smaller government and that's not the case."

berty said...

I am soooo there! I love a good old fashioned American movie!

:-D Shea said...

Evan, it's just great to see you get under these folks skin. They keep coming back because they're afraid you may say something even more insightful that will completely burst their bubble. Obviously you must be stopped! LOL! :-D

devon said...

McCain should not be allowed to make decisions about the future when he won't be here.

Henry said...

It's on the schedule for today.

Nome native said...

BIIIIG bad questions about Palin's income tax returns.

I'm afraid her high profile will get here a prison term rather than a term in the Whitehouse.

As a Republican (moderate) I almost hope this happens.

She could very well do more harm to the cause of conservatism than one can imagine.

She is rapidly becoming a national joke and people are lining up to do dumb Sarah impressions all over the place.

karinhall said...

Hey, good one, Thumb. I thought it deserved a repost:

thumb's down said...
Don't forget to see the deceptively named An American Carol, Zionist whore, David Zucker's new pro-Israel farce movie motion picture show film. Let's show Hollywood that as much as they love the best in America, we love to use and abuse it on behalf of a foreign country much, much more!

suze said...

the movie sinks:

UPDATED: No "American Carol" review
UPDATE: The Features department found and posted one this afternoon. However, as I suspect conservatives predicted, it takes potshots at the message as much as, if not more than, the movie.



A few readers have been upset that The Star didn't run a review of David Zucker's "An American Carol," a film that takes a conservative satirical view of many of the left's sacred cows.



"Where is the review on 'An American Carol' in the newspaper today?" wrote one. "Not there, is it? But, of course, 'Religulous' was reviewed -- with three stars. Shame on the KC Star."



The Star's movie critic Bob Butler reports they tried to get a review in (and a reference in Thursday's movie grid even said one was coming). But the studio didn't screen it for critics. A check of Rotten Tomatoes, which collects as many reviews as possible, doesn't even give it an aggregate rating, as they have only four reviews, and only one of those from a newspaper. Metacritic, which similarly collects reviews, has none listed so far.



There's a variety of reasons studios choose not to screen movies, but it's usually because they don't expect a warm reception. Here, they may be tipping their hat that they don't expect the mainstream critic to be open to this film's message -- or maybe it just stinks.

suze said...

it really does stink:

American Carol, An


by brianorndorf
"Michael Moore is fat."



Liberal? Conservative? Our nation has been split in two; a gangland of citizens who love to bicker over political minutiae, choosing sides with the sort of venom typically reserved for pro wrestling or the finer points of KISStory. However, I think our brittle populace can all agree on one thing: the searing, unyielding pain of an atrocious comedy. “An American Carol” is such a beast, hoping to be the first Conservative-angled production to break free from assured ridicule and enjoy a rich box office life, yet comes staggering to the screen crippled with an absurd agenda, farcical impotence, and necrotic taste in comedic targets.
Michael Malone (Kevin Farley) is a left-wing documentary filmmaker with a healthy appetite for anti-American liberal stunts and an even bigger interest in junk food. Trying to make the ultimate confrontational statement, Malone is campaigning to abolish the Fourth of July on grounds that it represents disgraceful American warmongering values. This traitorous act perks the interest of the Taliban (including Robert Davi and Geoffrey Arend), who want to finance Malone’s protest in an effort to blow up Madison Square Garden. Sent from the heavens to stop Malone are three ghosts: George Washington (Jon Voight), General Patton (Kelsey Grammer), and the Angel of Death (Trace Adkins). Trying to change Malone’s mind about America, the spirits take the blustery boob on a journey through history, reminding the documentarian what the country has suffered through and what it stands for today.

Director David Zucker is best known as one of the pioneers of the modern parody film, a mastermind behind the likes of “Airplane!” and “The Naked Gun.” “American Carol” is Zucker’s valentine to the Conservative movement and structured much like the comedies he’s known for. It’s a Looney Tunes-style farce, hitting the viewer over the head with a blitz of slapstick and sight gags, rarely pausing for a breath. Traditionally, this concentration of speed is a welcome addition to nonsense, yet, for “Carol,” it’s in service of monumental filmmaking gracelessness and disingenuous intent.

Fearing Liberal Hollywood has been telling their side of the American story for too long, Zucker and his writing staff strive to offer their own take on the Michael Moores of the world, and how these undignified souls are sullying the U.S.A. Moore is such an easy target (and one that’s been done to death), but familiarity fails to restrain Zucker, who doesn’t just satire Moore’s broad political stance, but unsheathes a machete and symbolically severs his head. Malone is an obese, military-hating, unwashed bastard who claims vague cultural victory when his movies clean up awards, yet longs to direct a fictional feature. Everyone hates him, he’s never two steps away from a Twinkie, and he’s receptive to monetary offers from terrorists. It’s a cartoon depiction of Moore, performed by Farley (doing his best Jim Belushi impression) through a series of quadruple-chinnings and multiple fall-down-and-go-booms. It’s not quite the evisceration Zucker is aiming for, undermined by the staleness of the target and the unnerving idiocy of the writing. Get it? Moore likes to eat! He hates America because he criticizes it!

Zucker doesn’t stop at Moore/Malone for pointed mockery, “Carol” also tackles loathsome American poxes such as college educations (the damn hippies are indoctrinating your kids, people!), exercising constitutional rights, and questioning leadership. The horror. The ACLU also gets a spanking (imagined as zombies enabling terrorists), along with those wacky goofballs, the suicide bombers. “Carol” rides the fine edge of taste for most of its running time, with the director relying on Hitler and concentration camp jokes to show that he’s capable of ribbing anything, not just liberals. Shhh, don’t tell Zucker, but I don’t think Hitler is funny anymore. That’s just me.

“Carol” is created with a specific agenda to support the American armed forces, using the Washington and Patton characters (along with John Kennedy) to remain the audience that diplomacy is second only to a strong military hand. The ghosts show Malone (in full “Christmas Carol” fashion) the results of an America without the sacrifice of war, exploring how slavery still exists and visiting a nuked Detroit. Of course, with “Carol” being a zany comedy and all, there’s even a sobering moment spent at the smoldering ruins of 9/11, punctuated with Malone’s head pinballing between two gigantic bells. Shhh, don’t tell Zucker, but I don’t think 9/11 is funny anymore.

Besides, of all filmmakers in the world to beat Zucker to the terrorist comedy punch, Uwe Boll danced the same tasteless tango earlier this year with the blindingly awful “Postal.”

“Carol” can whine about Moore all it wants, but I’ll take “Canadian Bacon” over this trainwreck any day of the week. Perhaps made with the best intentions to honor the nation and those who choose to fight for our freedom, “An American Carol” instead reinforces how needlessly divisive our country has become. Certainly there’s a better way to say “Yay America!” than this lousy, hopeless movie, easily one of the worst films of the year.

Anonymous said...

for “Carol,” it’s in service of monumental filmmaking gracelessness and disingenuous intent.

Anonymous said...

The reicho poison just isn't working anymore...in any form.

John said...

Because brianorndorf, suze, and other leftist riff-raff say so.

(you know, the "authorities")

thum said...

it stink, dude; it jus stink

thumb up yerz said...

Movie Review
An American Carol
October 4, 2008
Comic Right-Wing Broadside (Very Broad)
By NATHAN LEE
Published: October 4, 2008
“An American Carol” wasn’t screened in advance for critics, but why would it be? After all, what good is the traitorous opinion of the cheese-eating news-media elite when it comes to a satire of the radical left?

Directed by David Zucker (“Airplane!”) with his trademark indifference to pace and plot, “An American Carol” uses the template of “A Christmas Carol” to string together its gags (far too many of which involve Malone’s stuffing his mouth or getting whacked in the face).

Thus Scrooge Malone is visited by ghosts of patriotism past (General Patton, Presidents Kennedy and Washington) and is shown what could happen without leaders willing to man up for freedom: billboards for “Victoria’s Burka” in Times Square!

Cheap shots and mean spirits abound, as do celebrity cameos (James Woods, Jon Voight, Dennis Hopper, Kelsey Grammer). But it’s the laziness of the writing that most offends.

“An American Carol” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It includes swearing and satirical bigotry.

right wing comedy does not exist said...

Review: An American Carol
by William Goss Oct 4th 2008

It is hard to believe that a comedy as singularly inept and downright unfunny as An American Carol came from one of the three minds behind one of the funniest comedies of all time, Airplane! (I'd argue THE funniest, but that's for another place and time), and harder yet to believe that it somehow weaseled its way onto 1,600+ screens this weekend. But here it is, as witless and tactless as anything 2008 has offered up to date.



...the jokes themselves come as fast and furious as they had in Airplane!, with one significant difference: they're not funny. A plantation full of slaves singing "Hava Nagila"? Not funny. Legions of ACLU attorneys getting blasted away like a horde of zombies? Not funny. The closest thing to clever here is a brief reference to Brian de Palma's little-seen Redacted, and even that is wedged in amidst poor slapstick, obvious fat jokes and cheap homophobia (the "those butch lesbians aren't guys after all!" routine is right up there with "that fat lady's not pregnant after all!" in the So-Called Hilarity Hall of Fame).

Then in one of the film's precious few intentionally unfunny moments -- and its arguable low point -- Malone is whisked away to a dust-covered church, where the front doors open to reveal the neighboring remains of the World Trade Center and George Washington points out that the dust all around is actually made up of the ashes of 9/11 victims. (Don't worry, laugh lovers: it doesn't take but a minute for the fatty liberal to run outside and bash his head between two nearby bells.) It's enough to make Rudy Giuliani shake his head in shame, and what are we as an audience really supposed to take away from it? That if we're not laughing for any of the film's other eighty minutes, the terrorists will win? Is that tactic any more radical an approach than anything Michael Moore or his fictional counterpart could pull either on- or off-screen?

nanc said...

cannot wait to see it and "fireproof" - finally - something traditional families can sink their teeth into.

i'm soooooooooo hoping hollywood does go on strike or californistan goes bust - whichever comes first.

nome native said...

"...something traditional families can sink their teeth into."

Yes,I'm sure ALL those "traditional families" are made up of ignorami and bigots.

Mine certainly isn't, and I wouldn't expose my children to this obscenity under any circumstance.

John said...

"...came from one of the three minds behind one of the funniest comedies of all time, Airplane! (I'd argue THE funniest, but that's for another place and time)."

Agreed, along with The Sequel (although some familiarity with the airport '72-seventy-something disaster series they spoofed adds greatly to the appreciation).

fat kkkkarl said...

(Oct. 5) - With 30 days until Nov. 4, Karl Rove projects that Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) would get at least 273 electoral votes – three more than are needed to win – if the presidential election were held today.

MichaelSSEC said...

Terrific movie! I hope this signals a turning point in Hollywood, resulting in more Conservative movies being made. Sure would be nice if not every movie that comes down the pipe carried a Leftist slant.

Ehren said...

I have yet to see this movie, but I am so ready to see it. ACLU zombies? XD YES! If only just for that! ACLU once stood for constitutional rights, now it stands for whoever's whining the most.